Get Ex Back After Infidelity

Cheating is, of course, one of the biggest reasons that relationships break up. When cheating has occurred, the other person usually feels like "I can't ever trust him or her again."

That is a common refrain after infidelity. Trust is essential to close, intimate, real love. When it is broken, we feel like there is no hope for getting it back. Even if we loved much about our mate, if they cheated on us, we don't see how we could ever be happy again with them, how could we trust them after such a sense of betrayal.

So TRUST is one of the biggest issues in break ups. Before your mate will take you back, one of the questions in their mind is can they trust you not to repeat the same behaviors that caused the fighting and the split. I mean, why take you back if they feel like its just going to be more of the same? When relationships break up due to infidelity, one of the main issues on your ex lovers mind is

Can I ever really trust you again?

Clearly, if they split with you because of a problem like infidelity, they need to know in advance of letting you come back that you won't hurt them that way again, you won't keep doing what you did.  You can't get ex back if you can't make them understand this at an emotional level.

But the feeling of broken trust is one of the hardest things for an ex to get over. After all, we usually feel like trust gets built over a long time. Emotionally, we believe when trust is broken that our relationship can't be fixed, right?

Broken trust is a big betrayal emotionally. Betrayal feels like the exact opposite of closeness. So unless you deal with your ex's feelings of betrayal and broken trust, there is no real chance of getting back together with them. 

It is crucial for you to understand this if you want to get back with your ex. You must deal with their feelings of distance and betrayal and lack of trust or you can't expect to get back with your ex. Even if you get "lucky" and they give you a second chance, without trust it probably won't last. That's because the love and intimacy we all want to feel can't be felt when there is no trust.

How can you restore the trust? Well, normally, when there is a breakdown, we all try to avoid blame. We point the finger elsewhere:

"I cheated because you were cold to me! I cheated because I was drunk! I cheated because the devil temptress made me do it! When there is a big relationship buster like cheating, the natural tendency is to try to avoid blame.

Give those kind of excuses to your ex and she or he will tend to think even less of you. What if you get drunk again, should your ex expect the same behavior? What if your mate is cold to you two weeks from now, will you do the same thing?

So one of the first things you can do after cheating is to be an adult and to take full responsibility. Accept the blame and don't give lame reasons for your poor behavior.

You can own up to it by saying something along the lines of "I cheated on you and betrayed you. I apologize and I I'm sure I caused you to feel like you can't ever trust me again..."

This is an adult way to begin to repair the damage to their trust. Hearing responsibility being taken like that allows us to see that maybe they understand what they did wrong. It helps lay the foundation for forgiveness. Just like when you catch your kids screwing up, if they lie about it you just get more angry. But if they apologize and own it, you can more easily begin to forgive.

There are many other steps that need to be followed before you can truly begin to repair the trust, but this is a very big initial step!  This starts a process where they can begin to let go of the hard feelings in their heart over what you did.

If you would like to get your ex back after being unfaithful (or they were unfaithful to you), you can check out the complete trust rebuilding method here at Get Your Love Back Now.


Contact Us   |   Privacy Policy   |   Get Your Love Back Now