The longer you’ve been with somebody the more casual life can seem. It’s easy to slip into your own wants, needs, and goals and sort of lose that initial ambition that you had when it was the two of you against the world. Today, more couples are just drifting apart because they forget to include each other in their plans and goals and they forget how to be supportive.
The measure of success, the feeling of achievement, and the look of life can be very different for each partner. One may revel in the success of the new toys that fill the home, and you may find that they celebrate the arrival of the new Panasonic 1080p plasma TV just a little harder than you feel is appropriate. Meanwhile, others spend a fortune in anti aging skin cream and beauty cosmetics in order to go off into the world with their best possible look.
Many still believe that much of today’s successes and failures still rest on the woman’s shoulders. It’s rare that women don’t have to join the workforce in order to make the bills every month. Yet they are also charged with much of the housework, the need to look younger than they really are, to stay in shape, and to be able to earn their equal pay.
There are many family lifestyles that can fit into this notion. Women have become almost iconic and are slated to make sure they remain wrinkle free until the day they die if they are successful. Other families want the wrinkle free woman as well as a six figure income plus parenting abilities all from the same woman. Roles are still alive and well in our society.
You can’t expect any long term relationship to be maddeningly passionate for five, ten, or even twenty years. There are times of closeness and times when couples drift farther away. It’s those couples that do not pin the responsibility of coming back to closeness on just one half of the partnership that tend to do better overall. Each partner can keep the spirit of the relationship alive while tending to their needs and wants.
We often hear the word compromise thrown into successful relationships. New research shows that compromise builds resentment. What you’re really looking for is a way to allow each partner to reach their goals. It might be slower or harder than if the other partner gave up their dreams, but it doesn’t make it right.
Separation happens. You are still two individuals. But you can live a life of full support and kindness within the relationship if you continuously evaluate and reevaluate your roles and how you both tend to fit into them.
